THE EXCHANGE 🫏🛸🦧
A Historical-Fantasy Comedy Inspired by Sun Tzu and The Art of War
The sky-watchers had given their report. The weather favored the expedition.
Sun Tzu studied the strange craft from a distance before allowing anyone to approach. The ground was solid beneath the horses. They were rested and sure-footed. The craft’s bays were open, and from where he sat, Sun Tzu could see no dangerous protrusions or anything that appeared to be a weapon.
Still, he would not approach it directly.
He led Blue, Jean, Erynn, and Darlene along the natural curve of the rocky terrain, leaving them an easy way out. His gunboats waited along the riverbank below.
If the meeting went badly, they were ready.
It didn’t.
They wanted Nathan rehabilitated.
Sun Tzu agreed. He understood what was being asked of him. Nathan would become his responsibility.
As a token gesture of good faith and cooperation, Sun Tzu gave them the donkey.
Five treasure chests were given as an advance. Five more would follow if Nathan’s rehabilitation proved successful.
Nathan’s handlers were elated. They had successfully dropped off an orange orangutan who drifted far and wide and liked to crap in the river.
They already knew Nathan.
He was the enormous orange orangutan who had wandered out of the cave while they were roasting marshmallows, with the strange craft appearing behind him.
Since then, Nathan had become a nuisance.
He had developed a habit of making sarcastic remarks on Threads.
“Boy, you really rustled her jimmies.”
Nobody was entirely sure what that meant.
Eventually, Sun Tzu had enough.
“Don’t come back. We’re neutering orangutans today.”
But Nathan had another problem.
He never cleaned up after himself.
People were getting tired of the orange orangutan crapping in the river and watching his turds drift far and wide.
Apparently, the visitors were tired of it too.
By late afternoon, Sun Tzu and his war council were preparing to head home. Blue, Jean, Erynn, and Darlene mounted their horses. Nathan remained with them, while the war elephant stood nearby carrying the five treasure chests.
For an animal bred for war, the elephant had been given a remarkably peaceful assignment.
Then a voice came through the craft’s speaker system.
“Remember, Sun Tzu. Get Nathan rehabilitated and you have five more comin’ as a bonus.”
Sun Tzu turned in his saddle and looked at Nathan.
The orangutan seemed perfectly content.
The bays began to close.
Then another voice came over the speakers.
“Let’s go find water, fellas. Let’s go. Right now!”
The great craft lifted from the rocks and disappeared into the sky.
Sun Tzu looked at Nathan again.
This was going to be interesting. 🦧💩 🏞
🇺🇸 KEEP AMERICA’S WATERWAYS CLEAN
ORANGUTAN ALIEN ARRIVAL FROM @THREADS 🫏🛸🦧
🐲 SUN TZU RETURNS HOME c. 500 B.C.E.
🐲 Sun Tzu returned home, orangutan in tow—and five treasure chests.
Five more were riding on Nathan. 🦧💰
The aliens were very generous. 🧧💰
🇺🇸 KEEP AMERICA’S WATERWAYS CLEAN
Please don’t drift like a turd.
Brought to you by the House of Scott L. and his friends.
Lessons learned from The Art of War.
