No Unseeing What I've Seen

Humpty’s Golden Armor — Discovered at Last

By Scott L.

Looking and looking,

hearing and hearing,

the search continued

for Humpty’s golden armor —

the myth, the legend,

the piece that even eluded

the Sharpshooter’s laser eyes.

Every trail ran cold.

Every whisper in the alleyways of Hopeville

led nowhere.

But today —

the search is over.

It’s come to an end.

Not sure how Scott L. landed the job,

but it was all worth it

for Humpty’s sake

and his self-esteem.

He could now walk down the street

or go into a grocery store

without people staring

at his cracked shell

and the missing shards of eggshell.

There it was —

and there it is —

and it had been there all along.

In plain sight.

On Pinterest.

A single image

that cracked open the heavens:

Humpty’s armor — radiant, golden,

forged like a sunrise dipped in honey.

Words cannot describe

what he beheld.

And honestly —

if he (the author) had seen this 50 years ago,

he would’ve sworn

people came from the butt of a hen.

Because that’s how shocking,

how cosmic,

how egg-splitting

this revelation was.

Humpty’s Golden Armor:

found.

Pinned.

And now sealed

into the Legend.

And the hen —

she earns royalties now,

on account of having the best-lookin’ butt

ever documented

laying a golden armored egg.

But to be clear,

there’s no unseeing what I’ve seen.

Not now, not ever.

But in life, you get surprises,

and you just run with it.

The best thing to do

is not to dwell on it,

but to take note

and move on.

And hindsight being 20–20…

doesn’t that all make sense?

And, hey —

it’s okay to forego fried chicken, roasted chicken, baked chicken,

whatever…

for a week, or four weeks, or four months.

People will understand.