👽 THE ALIENS ARE COMING... IN THEIR UFOs! 🛸

🚨 This is not a drill. 🚨

Repeat — this is not a drill.

Unidentified Flying Objects have been sighted entering Earth’s atmosphere.

Estimated time of arrival: SOON.

Citizens are advised to remain calm — and RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Proceed immediately to the nearest Monopoly board,

collect $200, and move directly to Costco.

🐖

Secure essential supplies:

Toilet paper. Water. Frozen pizza. Emotional stability.

Then — ROLL OUT like doughnuts.

POP like Pop-Tarts.

But maintain composure at all times.

Take shelter in your abode.

Lock your doors.

Unplug Alexa. She may have already switched sides.

End of transmission.

🌎

Epigraph:

For those who listened, and still made it home.